Did Michael Jackson Do It?
Parenting Magazine, May 1994

I’m the mother of two adolescent sons, so headlines like that one scare me.

Here’s one that scares me even more. "Before they reach the age of 18, one out of three girls and one out of six boys in this country will be sexually abused–80% of them by someone they know."

My children–and every child–would be safer if we had fewer headlines like the former, and more like the latter.

That’s why I’m angry about the sensational coverage of the Michael Jackson child molestation story. If Jackson is tried only in the media, not in a court of law, the lack of a verdict could fuel the anti-victim, anti-child backlash I believe is already in progress. Because all we really know–all we will ever know, if the case never goes to trial–is that someone lied: either Michael Jackson, or a fourteen-year-old boy whose face we’ve never seen. The media has offered us plenty of gossip, but scant information. LaToya Jackson swearing she saw checks made out to the parents of Michael’s previous ‘victims.’ Michael’s ex-employees confiding suspicious goings-on at Neverland. The accuser’s parents settling out of court for an undisclosed amount rumored to exceed $10 million. It’s all been very compelling–and very confusing.

I fear that many will choose to believe that the child is lying–because they idolize Michael Jackson; because the child’s parents took Jackson’s money; or for the oldest reason in the book: because, despite undeniable evidence to the contrary, none of us wants to believe that human beings abuse children in the truly sordid ways that they do. Consequently some of the estimated 800,000 American children who will be sexually abused this year may not be heard, believed, and protected.

When my son Jesse was born in 1980, child sexual abuse was still one of America’s dirty secrets. Since then children’s advocates have successfully fought to raise public awareness–and lower the incidence–of child molestation. Although the number of reported cases of child sexual abuse has risen steadily every year since 1976 (when national data was first collected), experts attribute the increase to more disclosure, not more abuse. By the time Jesse was in elementary school (the years when Michael Jackson was his hero) his classrooms were visited by counselors from Child Assault Prevention, who taught every child the difference between good and bad touch, and when to ask or yell for help. Most important, CAP taught Jesse and his classmates that they had the right to be "Safe, strong, and free."

But now a rising tide of denial threatens to obliterate these hard-won gains. The Jackson case, the Menendez case, the Bobbitt case, the Anita Hill hearings, the regular appearances on talk shows of False Memory Syndrome Foundation representatives–who claim therapists manipulate their patients into fabricating memories of sexual assault–have all resurrected the question that should have been put to rest long ago: Can we believe women and children who say they have been sexually abused? We have abundant proof that the answer is almost always ‘yes.’ But when the media treats stories of sexual abuse as "Lifestyles of the Rich and Possibly Pedophile," we become confused. And who suffers most when we aren’t sure we should believe our children?

Yesterday, while I was driving thirteen-year-old Jesse and a few of his teammates to their first basketball game of the ‘94 season, I asked them what they thought about the Jackson case. "The kid’s parents just wanted that big money," said Jamal authoritatively. The other three boys nodded their agreement. In that moment I wondered if any of the boys in my car, or their brothers or sisters, had been or would be molested. If so, I wondered what effect his friends’ disbelief might have on that child’s willingness to share his ‘bad secret’ with them, or with anyone who could help him.

As parents, we can’t let confusion or denial win out. We can’t let sensational headlines deter us from the difficult but necessary task of making our homes and our streets safe for children. We must insist that all charges of sexual abuse–whether leveled at an adored celebrity or a next-door-neighbor–be pursued to resolution. We must insist that we, our children, and our institutions be given the information and the power we need to stop the cycle of child sexual abuse before it devastates yet another generation.